Back and Up

Whoa! What's this? This blog is back and up, you loozers. Of course, the obvious question is where have I been? Well, before we get to that, let's just make sure that first and foremost, and boringly, you are all my inferiors. Yawn, yawn, we've been through this. Ok, we get the point. Of course, anyone, even the people that will post stuff I don't like can post here all they want, and I'm not deleting anything. Even if you're a bureaucrat, homosexual, Australian wrestling pro, kangaroo poacher, male who thinks Daniel Craig is hot, sexist, racist, KKK, black panther, ax-murderer, fucked up emo, coked up Sean Penn wannabe who can't tell the difference between cotton candy and a rabbit's tail, 16 year old saboteur who imitates David Fincher movies, professional assassin armed with a MACH 3 jet plane, overgrown cockroach exposed to radiation, environmentalist responsible for the extinction of gas stations (where the fuck are we supposed to piss at in the middle on nowhere?), Eva Green, Tom Green, Britney Spears, John McCain, Jack Nicholson's big-tittied secretary who buys him all his Laker tickets, arsonist, rapist, mother fucker, voyeur, 600 pound muscleman with bigger tits than his wife, physicist who found out how to escape matter, Nicole Kidman's botox injector, drug dealer, manufacturer of Mary Louise Parker's everclear lotion, talking squirrel, flying squirrel, hard of hearer, George Romero's lead zombie, hollywood make-up artist responsible for fucking up the image of the entertainment industry, carbonated beverage drinker with incredibly bad breath, newspaper boy for entertainment weekly, Obama's black alter ego, Kevin Garnett's back-up power forward, and finally and lastly, the most satanic, inhumane, ungodly thing known to man................. ok....... I'm sorry, I just..... fine, all Jews are welcome.

Ok, ok, where have I been? Well, I don't know, it's either this or that.... and I don't really want to update ya'll everything I consume a teeth rotting energy drink, or everytime I bitched at the local slut for the 40 pounds of unnecessary garment she had over her breasts. I suggest we cease talking about the past and move forward.... all the goody goody, juicy fruity, ramblings you're going to witness this summer. Starting with.... I confess, I have decided to become a homosexual, it wasn't an easy choice, but when I found myself smacking an inanimate object that resembled Patrick Wilson's ass, I knew then, and I shan't hide it anymore, I am a homosexual. [smileyface][smileyface][smileyface][smileyface][smileyface][smileyface] Oh, I forget, we can't do it like we do on IMDB. That was just a taste of my tootie-fruityness.

Ok, so for all the contacts I've lost and the people I've fallen out of favor with, I still like you as much as I used to, but don't think I'm gonna shit next to you at the MTV music video awards. Ya'll all have the luxury of keeping up-to-date with me here..... so you're wondering, am I going to post more photos? Hell ya, Ima homosexual and Imanot 'fraid to admitit. Yeah, this blog is going to be crawling with photos, yup, yup, yup, I have such a keen taste for visual objects now. Where did it come from? Oh, yeah, I forgot, I've decided that I'm now a homosexual.



HAHAHAHA. This squirrel's about to get run over.